Jumat, 21 November 2014
> There will be another time
About six months ago, I ran into him in a supermarket.
I was hurriedly pushing my cart and knocked it against
a man who was looking around in a leisurely manner.
He must have found it funny as he smiled to himself. I
apologized and smiled back. To be honest, he had quite
a charming smile.
A few days later, I saw him again in a restaurant and
was again charmed by his smile. I was there with
several friends of mine. He approached me and
introduced himself to me. We laughed when we
remembered the small incident in the supermarket. I
knew for sure that my friends, all still single, were
charmed by his smile and his two hooded eyes.
He was called Johan. We quickly became friends. His
office was close to mine so every day he picked me up
at my office and we went home together. We had dinner,
saw a film, went shopping, browsed in a book shop or
just chatted in my boardinghouse.
He often praised my appearance. I was quite attractive
and at 30 I already enjoyed a good position at my
office. He said he liked my innocent personality and
my cheerfulness. Frankly, I was also attracted to him.
He was quite mature and handsome. Given his style and
the automobile he drove, he also must have had a very
good position in his office. He had a very interesting
personality and was quite attentive.
I was hoping against hope that I could be his wife.
Before my chance meeting with Johan, it had hardly
ever crossed my mind to get married. No man had ever
thrilled my heart like he did. I enjoyed being single.
I had a job and a lot of friends; I could go anywhere
and do anything I wanted to.
Only when I received a wedding invitation did a
fleeting desire to get married flash through my mind.
When I visited a friend who had just given birth to a
baby, I would sometimes briefly think about having a
baby myself. But I found no man that suited me until
Johan turned up. I thought he was destined for me.
I was very happy in his company. My friends supported
me and kept assuring me he was the right man for me. I
introduced him to my mom, who instantly liked him. She
kept asking me when we would get married. Well, I was
her only daughter and I understood her worries about
my staying single.
She was afraid that I would be like Aunt Nien, her
youngest sister, who got a widower at the age of 45
but was too old to have a child. To be honest, I
shared my mother's worries, in a way.
That day Johan telephoned me and invited me to a
dinner. He hinted that he had something to tell me. We
agreed to meet at one of the cafes we usually went to.
I guessed he wanted to propose for a marriage. I knew
it when he clasped my hands, hugged me and kissed me
passionately. He had never said he loved me but I
could feel it through his touch and his warm gaze. I
knew he loved me and wanted very much to hear the
words from his mouth. I also wanted to tell him that I
When I got to the cafe that night, he was waiting. He
kissed me sweetly and looked at me. I had tried my
utmost to appear at my best that night.
He clasped my hands and gazed at me long and hard. I
could see from his eyes he was hiding something. His
face was not that of a man wishing to express his love
to his girlfriend. There was a sense of burden in the
lines in his face. He took a deep breath. I knew it
was not going to be the night I had long expected. I
could feel his restlessness. There was a brief lull.
It was right after the waiter returned with what we
had ordered that he broke the silence.
"Mala, I'm sorry. I never intended to lie to you or
hurt you. Before I met you, it had never occurred to
me that I could fall in love again with a woman. I
really love you, but I've got to be honest to you." He
stopped and I could not say anything.
"What do you mean?" I finally managed to inquire. A
pang stabbed me in my heart although I had yet to hear
his full explanation.
"What do you expect from me, Mala? Please be honest
I looked deep into his eyes and said weakly, " I want
you to marry me."
He sighed deeply, twice.
"Oh no, don't tell me you can't marry me," I cried in
But it was exactly what he told me. He was married; he
also made it clear there was nothing wrong in his
marriage and that he could not divorce his wife. The
only mistake was that he had fallen in love with me.
Well, I should have expected that, given his age,
Johan was a married man. I should have known it
because he had never given me his telephone number at
home or his address. I was simply charmed by his
praise and handsome looks.
That night he did ask me to be his mistress. I could
not make up my mind. I was not ready to lose him but
to be his mistress? What should I tell my mom and my
Days passed into weeks and Johan continued to shower
me with his warm love. In the meantime I was tortured
by two difficult choices: be ready to be his mistress
with all its consequences or abandon him.
I still could not make up my mind although I did talk
to him about several times. Unfortunately, every time
I looked into his eyes and felt his warm touch, I
could not bring myself to say goodbye and, strangely,
I felt a stronger urge to possess him.
In the meantime, he became more and more open to me
about his family. He told me about his cute children
and about his wife's activities. As days, weeks and
months wore on, I felt I was on the outside looking in
on their married life, which led me to make my
It was rather late at night. We were in our usual
cafe. After a long silence, as if reading my mind, he
said: "Come on, Mala, tell me what's on your mind.
Don't keep it to yourself. I really love you and do
not want to see you suffer. I will not force you.
"You are entitled to your own future. My mistake was
to fall in love with you. But for the sake of your
happiness, we can be just friends. I won't disturb you
anymore, but please tell me honestly what is on your
Suddenly, tears welled in my eyes. I mustered all my
courage and off it went: a barrage of words flying
from my pent-up mind.
I made it clear that although I loved him I had no
right to ruin his marriage. I also regretted his
dishonesty to me when we first met.
I also made it clear that I was not ready to be just a
complement to his wife. Without anymore ado, we parted
amicably and went our separate ways.
The coming days were empty without him. Mom and my
friends gave me strong encouragement, though. I did
the right thing, they kept saying. I agreed. There
will be another time for me to find my soul mate, I
kept assuring myself.
This Website is designed for The Jakarta Post by CNRG
All contents copyright �of The Jakarta Post.
Do you Yahoo!?
Vote for the stars of Yahoo!'s next ad campaign!
Kamis, 13 November 2014
Memberikan yang Terbaik di era Teknologi Informasi.
Profesi saya dari sejak kuliah adalah guru. Saat kuliah saya mengajar les privat untuk siswa SD dan SMP. Baru dua tahun terakhir saya mengajar ekskul menulis di beberapa sekolah. Saya mengajar Creative Writing untuk siswa SD, SMP dan SMA. Materi yang saya berikan adalah teknik penulisan dan berlatih menulis. Mereka diwajibkan menghasilkan satu karya yang kemudian diterbitkan dan diedarkan untuk kalangan sekolah di akhir semester. Jadi guru, teman dan orang tua mereka bisa menikmati hasil karya mereka.
Saya sangat menikmati proses mengajar. Memberikan ilmu dan pengalaman menulis pada murid-murid saya. Bagi saya kenikmatan mengajar ini sangat penting karena dengan begitu, kita akan berusaha memberikan yang terbaik pada anak didik kita. Dengan rasa seperti itu, kita juga menjalin ikatan batin dengan murid-murid sehingga mereka dapat menikmati proses kegiatan belajar mengajar dengan baik. Jika sudah begitu tentu mereka pun akan berusaha belajar dan menghasilkan yang terbaik. Pengalaman membuktikan jika cara ini berhasil membuat mereka menyerap ilmu dengan baik.
Dibalik semua itu, dengan berkembangnya teknologi yang semakin maju. Pemanfaatan teknologi informasi dalam kegiatan belajar mengajar sangat dibutuhkan. Dalam menulis, murid tentu membutuhkan wawasan dan bacaan yang lengkap untuk menunjang proses kreatifnya. Karena itu dengan adanya akses internet, dengan mudah mereka mencari bahan dan data yang dibutuhkan dalam proses menulis. Apakah itu fiksi dalam bentuk cerpen atau non fiksi dalam bentuk artikel. Dengan wawasan dan data yang mudah didapatkan melalui teknologi informasi ini, murid-murid saya mampu menghasilkan proses kreatif yang lebih baik.
Sebuah ide dalam tulisan tidak akan berkembang menjadi sebuah tulisan yang baik tanpa adanya bahan data yang akurat dan terpercaya. Dengan adanya akses internet yang mudah ini, membuat murid-murid saya bisa memperolehnya dengan cepat, mudah dan akurat. Mereka bisa mencari bahan dan data yang dibutuhkan untuk mengembangkan ide sehingga bisa menghasilkan karya yang memuaskan.
Karena itu, dalam proses belajar mengajar di ekskul Creative Writing, setiap siswa diperbolehkan membawa notebook atau laptop. Beruntung sekolah menyediakan wifi yang menunjang proses belajar kami di sekolah. Sehingga murid-murid saya dapat dengan mudah mengakses internet.
Tidak hanya itu saya juga mengajarkan mereka untuk memanfaatkan sosial media yang ada sebagai media yang positif. Saat ini, memang sebagian besar orang tua, masih kuatir dengan adanya internet dan sosial media. Padahal hal tersebut sangat bermanfaat untuk proses belajar dan mengajar. Hanya saja tentu tetap dalam pengawasan. Artinya murid-murid mengakses internet dan menggunakan sosial media dengan pengawasan guru jika di sekolah dan orang tua jika di rumah. Dengan begitu mereka terhindar dari akses negatif yang kemungkinan memang ada.
Salah satu yang saya anjurkan terutama untuk murid SMA adalah mulai membuat dan berlatih menulis di blog. Mereka membuat blog pribadi dan menulis tentang dunia mereka di sana. Saya melihat mereka sangat menikmati kegiatan blogging ini. Dengan begitu mereka terlatih percaya diri untuk menampilkan karya mereka pada dunia luar. Untuk sosial media yang lain mereka juga memiliki facebook, saya memberikan saran untuk menulis atau berbagi status yang positif serta menganjurkan untuk membatasi pertemanan di facebook. Dan, mulai memanfaatkan note di facebook untuk berbagi tulisan mereka.
Saya merasa, murid-murid memang harus mulai dikenalkan dengan teknologi informasi terutama untuk menunjang proses belajar dan mengajar. Mengapa? Karena mereka lah kelak pelaku teknologi itu sendiri. Mereka bukan hanya sekedar menjadi pengguna kelak tetapi bisa juga mereka yang mengembangkan teknologi informasi untuk lebih maju. Karena itu, sudah saatnya setiap proses belajar mengajar di sekolah memanfaatkan teknologi informasi ini dengan baik.
Setiap mata pelajaran yang ada bisa memanfaatkan teknologi informasi untuk menunjang proses belajar mengajar. Dan, ini yang sangat dibutuhkan di era teknologi yang sudah bergerak dengan pesat. Jangan sampai generasi kita tertinggal jauh dibandingkan generasi bangsa lain. Maka sudah saatnya setiap sekolah dibantu untuk bergerak maju dan memanfaatkan teknologi informasi dengan maksimal. Semua semata untuk memberikan yang terbaik bagi anak didik kita sebagai generasi penerus bangsa. Karena mereka lah penentu kemajuan bangsa kita kelak.